Alone Again!

​​I thought our kids would be under our roof forever.  It seemed like a never-ending stream of carpools, homework, playdates, drivers’ ed, college prep and then……a huge void.  What happened?  Who knew it would feel so empty!  But, if we did our jobs, they leave and venture out on their own.  They are always in our hearts, if not under our roofs!

There are a few things to think about when this happens, and we have just the questionnaire to share with you. 

When They Leave Temporarily

If the kids are heading off to college, it is reasonable to expect they will be back and forth between home and school for a few years.  The issues that generally pop up during this phase include:

• Whether you want access to their medical and school records (see our blog on durable medical power of attorney)
• Their need for renter’s insurance
• If they are going out of state, will they need a new driver’s license?
• Are they fiscally responsible?  What access will they have to their funds? Did you discuss a budget? Who pays the credit card bills? Is there a limit?
• What other financial guidance do they need?

When They Leave for Good

Eventually the time comes when they establish their own financial households.  How does that impact your financial household?  How well are they prepared to make decisions about

• Apartment leases
• Car payments/maintenance
• Car insurance
• Banking
• Budgets
• Understanding their paystub
• Employer benefits
• Credit card usage
• Credit scores
• Filing tax returns (true story, one of my former analysts believed because our employer deducted payroll taxes, that meant he did not have to file a tax return.  He believed the company did it for him)

The Impact to your Household

It is odd to think about the impact to our own financial situations, as it often seems to happen organically.  But when I think about it, a large part of the impact is shifting financial risk from us to them.  I’m pretty sure they don’t see it that way, but it is not a bad thing for adult children to think about financial risk. This is all part of the “independence” process. 

• To what extent will they be responsible for their bills?
• How do we ever get them off the cell phone plan?  (Still trying to answer that one!)
• Do they live in a high or low cost of living city? What does that mean to them?
• To what extent, if any, will you be supplementing their income?
• If they are under 26, is it more cost effective for them to maintain their medical insurance coverage through you?
• Are you thinking about downsizing?
• When both of our kids were out, we were able immediately to lower our cable bill 😁😁 and reduce our car insurance.  Eventually, we downsized and never looked back! 

Financial Instruction

It is unlikely that our high school students are receiving much financial education.  Most of the parents I meet with try to provide guidance to their own children.  We also meet with adult children as they set up their own investment portfolios, desire financial planning and/or become involved in their parent’s estate planning.

For those younger adults there are some very good digital resources to explore.  We have included a short list.  Please let us know if we can provide additional information.

Digital Financial Resources

You Need a Budget
Nerdwallet
Money Smart